"Tony Soprano To The Rescue"

Danny Schecter (Media Channel):

Government Fears Mob Moves On Recovery Funds, Undertakes Creative Counter Measure--THE MOB WANTS A TASTE….

“The money is flowing into familiar territory for those with a history of feeding at the public trough. Two of the largest portions of the stimulus pie in the New York City area are going to sectors of the economy – Medicaid and infrastructure projects – where the mob and Eastern European crime groups have flourished for decades, perfecting old schemes and developing new ones.” (The New York Times)

Following Transcript Based On National Security Agency Surveillance Tapes:

Sal: T?

Tony Soprano: Yea Sal, what is it?

S: We want to bring the boys back together, we have a big opportunity.

TS: Don’t you know I’ve been busy, on Broadway, in that movie ‘In the Loop?’

S: Yeah, I seen it, very funny, maybe even a little anti-American, doncha think? But Ton, we now got a chance to make some serious money. They are coming over to the Bing to tell us about it.

TS: “THEY?” Who is they?

S: You are not gonna believe it: the F Bee Eye is coming over.

TS: What do they got on us?

S: No, Anthony, It’s not like that. They got something for us!

TS: No capish. What are you talking about?

S: You heard about all those stimulus packages, haven’t ya. All da big government money from Obama and them?

TS: Sure, who hasn’t, but that’s not stimulating me…It looks like the banks are getting all that loot.

S: True, Ton, but they say they have a problem. They are worried that the families want a taste, want to muscle in on all the moolah. They say they have a crime problem inside the financial problem.

TS: And so they are turning to gangsters to help solve it? I don’t get it.

S: Exactly. Who better to catch a criminal than a criminal? The FBI says that it fears that $50 billion is at risk from organized crime siphoning off some of the money they are printing.

That guy Sammy Antar, who got busted in the Crazy Eddie’s scam wrote to the President to warn him that the mob wants a big taste from all the big government bucks that are sloshing around. He told him that if he doesn’t act, all of this will come out during his second term, ruin his reputation and get a Republican elected. He says all the stealing will become his legacy for history. It could be worse than Watergate.

TS: Smiles, chuckles. Yea, I remember that Crazy Eddies store, they were all over Jersey.

He mocks their TV ads: “Our Prices are Insaaaane!”

They were stealing it blind but they had some good deals even if most of our stuff from them fell off their trucks.

I can see why Obama wouldn’t want that, would he? He’d sound like Nixon when he said “I am not a crook.” That gave us a bad name. They don’t need that.

So. Sal, what do they want from us. Does he know how rusty we are?

S: I don’t think so Ton. There are so many reruns on that they don’t realize we have hung it up.

TS: Look paisan, we are just small time goombahs when it comes to Goldman Sachs and those guys. They are in a different league. They get the laws changed before they break them. They got the pols working for them, the media giving them a permanent BJ. Look at all the money they, um, divert. I’d like one of those bonus checks….

We had a guy once on the inside who told us they made more on those fraudulent mortgages in a month than we made on extortion in ten years. What’d they call it, derivatives? Sounds so clean.

S: That’s my point, Ton, that’s exactly why they need us. I think the Wall Street boys suggested they use us. They know how to use pretty good.

TS: So what’s the deal Sal? They’d need to put us on a retainer? We can’t work for cheap on this one. We can’t do any collecting afterwards like we used to. We need some real money up front. And in Cas…Tell you the truth, I would prefer Euros.

S: No problem. They were going to use that Blackfriars Group, I mean Blackriver, Blackwater…. something like that….But they are too hot now. Rubbed out too many guys. So they want someone no one would think they had working for them.

TS: Clever. Usually, I don’t like ratting but this is really for our country, isn’t it. A lot of people are suffering with this bummer in the economy, thanks to all those mergers and Wiseguys in the suites. They know how to earn. We could learn from them.

It sounds like they want to merge with us now.

S: Exactly, Tony, exactly. Here’s a chance to make some money and do some good.

Both Laugh.

TS: And we can all get stimulated too.., (Microphone Reception Breaks Up…)

Howie P.S.: Fact or fiction? It's getting harder to tell.