Tuesday, January 17, 2006

''While Gore Walks Upright, Gonzales Hunches in the Ditch''

"Man, someone spiked Al Gore's coffee with spinach yesterday, 'cause he went all Popeye on the Bush administration's Bluto ass. Here's the Rude Pundit's favorite section from Al Gore's erection-inspiring speech yesterday:

"The founders of our country faced dire threats. If they failed in their endeavors, they would have been hung as traitors. The very existence of our country was at risk.

"Yet, in the teeth of those dangers, they insisted on establishing the Bill of Rights.

"Is our Congress today in more danger than were their predecessors when the British army was marching on the Capitol? Is the world more dangerous than when we faced an ideological enemy with tens of thousands of missiles poised to be launched against us and annihilate our country at a moment's notice? Is America in more danger now than when we faced worldwide fascism on the march -- when our fathers fought and won two World Wars simultaneously?

"It is simply an insult to those who came before us and sacrificed so much on our behalf to imply that we have more to be fearful of than they. Yet they faithfully protected our freedoms and now it is up to us to do the same."

Goddamn, it's such in-yer-fookin'-gob rhetoric, innit? Here's Bush, who in speech after speech makes some variation on the same stupid statement, as he did on January 11: "[I] said that after September the 11th, that oceans no longer protected us. You know, when I was growing up, or other baby boomers here were growing up, we felt safe because we had these vast oceans that could protect us from harm's way. September the 11th changed all that." And then here's Gore, calling complete and utter bullshit on that idiotic line, that the oceans couldn't even protect us from the wind-driven ships of the British, let alone Soviet ICBMs."-they don't call him The Rude Pundit for nothin'. Reader Advisory: It gets even ruder after this excerpt.

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